Everything that you love you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form. Franz Kafka
This quote comes from a beautiful story of Franz Kafka and The Doll. CLICK HERE to read it.
Everything that you love you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form. Franz Kafka
This quote comes from a beautiful story of Franz Kafka and The Doll. CLICK HERE to read it.
I am a huge fan of Anne Lamott. (If you’ve never heard of her, you can link to her inspiring TEDtalk here.)
When I think of that imaginary dinner party I would love to host, with some of the most amazing people sitting at my table, she is up there at the top of the list.
I love her humour, her wisdom and her grace, and it was that wisdom that helped me through some of the worst times following my divorce. Continue reading
My mother always warned me that the very worst time in your life to lose weight was when you were in your ‘mature’ years, as your skin – particularly on your face – never bounces back the way it does when you’re young.
And she was right.
A few years ago, I lost a (ahem) substantial amount of weight! The health benefits were amazing, but… I discovered that my mother’s caution was bang on. Proud of my weight loss (it took a lot of hard work!) and the fact I was now healthier than I was ten years ago, I jokingly posted on Facebook that, while it was great that, in profile, my boobs now stick out (marginally) more than my belly, it was a shame about my sagging jowls.
It was as simple as that. A joke!
But some of the responses startled me, because it occurred to me that my friends thought I was either a) trying to fish for compliments , or b) terribly insecure, because they all responded by assuring me that I looked great/beautiful/whatever.
I’m pretty realistic about my looks. Even when I was young I would never have won a beauty competition, but I’m okay. I look fine. Sometimes I can even look pretty great. Sure I could do without some of the sagging and lines, but I’m sixty-five now. Every single line has been hard won and I’m particularly proud of the fact that the smile lines around my eyes far outnumber my frown lines.
But should my external be what really matters? To the world?
To me?
Sitting back and thinking about some of those comments, I realised that I am blessed every single morning I look at my face in the mirror, because I see my mum and dad reflected back at me in my own features. They were good – good – people, offering me a childhood filled with love and security and values. What a wonderful daily reminder of those gifts they gave me.
Since then – and particularly since my divorce – I have been blessed with so many other gifts.
The love of friends and family.
My health.
Reasonable financial security.
I live in a safe, beautiful city in what was recently declared the second most wonderful country in the world.
Passions in my life including hanging out with friends and family, travel, storytelling of all kinds (watching movies, reading books and writing), learning, cycling, walking, cooking, my home, photography, working on this blog, listening to and playing music.
So, in the realm of things, how much should our looks – or our perceptions of our physical selves – matter? Sadly in this day and age of social media, selfies and photoshopped images on magazines and billboards, it’s hard not to compare our outward appearance with those of others.
I read something the other day – can’t remember the exact quote – but it was something along the lines of, “A beautiful woman loses her currency with every day that passes.”
But I look at my list above, and with every day that passes, I realise I am getting richer. My life-just-keeps-getting- better.
I know we all pay lip service to the idea that ‘looks aren’t everything’, but sometimes we need to step back and really acknowledge, deep down in our souls, that all the other stuff that has nothing to do with they way we look – the real stuff in life – is what truly matters, and be very, very grateful for it. And if we have our health, we are doubly blessed.
(contd from Love in the time of Coronavirus – Part Two)
I learned – or re-learned – four major life-lessons from my dinner with – let’s call him – Matt, last Sunday.
1) Safety and Love: The most important reason I decided to go through a matchmaker rather than try and meet someone online was concern for my own personal safety. I’ve read the horror stories out there, and a matchmaker, I felt, provided me with a element of safety. Continue reading
This video just popped up on my Facebook feed and I felt the need to share it. The courage, persistence and self-belief of this dog is amazing.
Watching him, blindfolded, stepping out into the unknown brought me back to that first year after my husband left me. If ever there is a visual metaphor for what it’s like walking, terrified, into a new life, blindsided and blindfolded – this is it.
I felt that dog’s fear in a visceral way. It’s uncertainty. But – despite near falls hear and there – he kept putting one foot in front of the other until he got where he was going.
Just out of shot, you know his owner is there encouraging him – just as family and friends were there for me – but ultimately he was the one on the tightrope, doing it alone.
So, if you’re in the early stages of a divorce, and feel just like this dog, take heart.
In case you couldn’t watch the whole thing – he makes it to the other side.
And so can you.
So WILL you.
When my husband left me, he insisted there was no-one else… but hoped there might be someone in the future. And he promised, out of respect for me and our kids, that he wouldn’t even attempt to date for six months.
In my gut I knew there was someone else but I was accused of being paranoid. Hadn’t he promised me there was no one?? But then the truth came out. Yes, there had been another woman all along. Continue reading
Reigniting a Sense of Resilience
At the end of each chapter in Julia Cameron’s book It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again, she asks six questions. Two of them deal with ‘aha’ moments and experiencing synchronicity.
This week, those two things hit me at the same time. Continue reading