It’s Never Too Late – Week 5 – Part 1 – Vhairi

 Reigniting a Sense of Honesty

In fiction writing, there’s a point in the middle of a story where the main character gets a glimpse of who they really are.  Some people call it the Mirror Moment.  In Pride and Prejudice it’s when Elizabeth reads Darcy’s letter and admits, ‘Until this moment I never knew myself’.  In the James Bond reboot Casino Royale with Daniel Craig, it’s when he puts on his first tailored tuxedo and looks at himself in the mirror.  It’s also the first time in that film we hear the faint strains of the iconic theme music. Bond is seeing himself properly for the first time.

This week’s topic was Reigniting a Sense of Honesty, and it was a hard one because I experienced my mirror moment… and I didn’t like what I saw. Continue reading

Gaining Perspective on Grey Divorce

Working through Week Four of Julia Cameron’s “It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again” is helping me heal from the terrible wounds of Grey Divorce.

The memoir part of this fourth week required taking a look at ages 16 to 22 – a time of great change…leaving home, going to university, meeting my future husband..

Guided through questions such as “describe a taste from that time” or “where did you live,” I sat down to face some painful memories, a rehashing of all the mistakes I made that led to me being a divorced woman at 64 years old.

Following Julia’s thoughtful and gentle process, it almost didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt good to finally face the past in the hopes of finding a future. Continue reading

It’s Never Too Late – Week 4 – Vhairi

REIGNITING A SENSE OF PURPOSE

1) How Many days did you do your Morning Pages /MPs?
Most days… but not always the full three pages. Life is complicated at the moment so some days I barely even managed one.  (Which is, perhaps, when we should be concentrating the most on our MPs.)

2) Did you do an Artist Date?
See above for complicated life, but the truth is I didn’t make it a priority.  Hmmm.  Why not? Continue reading

How to be the Opposite of Lonely

Canva - Trees in the forest.jpg

It’s never Too Late to Begin Again – Reigniting a Sense of Community is the theme of Week Three in Julia Cameron’s book.

By Day Four, I figured I had blown it.

Morning pages – I wrote a measly three. Artist date – none. Walks alone – none. On the last day, it was the memoir part with its remembering tasks and questions.

I looked at the blank pages in my notebook and knew I was a failure.

Failure at growing up, failure at marriage, failure at life. Oh, yeah, the self-pity demon was in full force on that seventh day. Continue reading

It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again – Week 3 – Vhairi


This week’s focus was on Reigniting a Sense of Connection.

Normally, when I write my weekly review, I simply follow the list of questions at the end of each chapter of Julia’s book, It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again. This week, because of two particular elements of synchronicity I experienced, I’m going to change my approach. Continue reading

Morning Pages – Going Deeper

At the beginning of almost every day’s morning pages this past week, I’ve written something along the lines of – I don’t want to be doing this, I’m tired, I’m busy. But once I got going, thoughts flowed onto the page in a torrent of words. Seemingly about nothing in particular, sometimes just lists. And yet…

Somehow, writing about whatever comes out of my morning brain is leading me towards an understanding, I think, of how I ended up divorced at the age of 65 and after almost forty years of marriage.

I loved him with such passion, truly I did. Maybe it was a flawed sort of love, all tied up with an unhappy childhood, self-esteem issues, but does that really matter? It was my love and it was real. I would have done just about anything for him and for his love in return.

We’d been married for almost ten years, had three children, when I learned of his many  infidelities. So many lies, so many other women, some writing letters to him through his work address. And there I was, all tied up in family life, in being supportive, ironing his dress shirts every morning before he went to work! I had no idea. I never saw any lipstick on his collars.

It makes me angry now to think of it, but believe it or not, he blamed me! I was too busy with the kids, with renovating our house, didn’t wear tight leather skirts! I wasn’t fun anymore.

And so I tried hard to be whatever it was he was looking for outside our marriage. Of course, that didn’t work; he continued doing whatever (and whomever) he wanted, and I built a big wall around it all. In that regard, I was just as much at fault as he was.

I have been ashamed for so long now that I didn’t take the children, all under the age of six, and…and what? I had no money, no family nearby, no friends (we had moved across the country for his work).

The “tasks” in this week’s chapter of Julia’s book involved taking a look at the second six years of my life. Seems unrelated, doesn’t it? Yet I find I am getting a sense of who that person was/is who would stay in such a soul-eating situation – kids or no kids.

I’ve remembered the little girl I was – an awkward, shy little girl with a mother who just wasn’t equipped to deal with her. That little girl grew up trying to be someone different because that was the only way she would be loved. Right? Little wonder she entered into marriage the same way. Rejection meant she had to try harder.

Here’s what I learned this week through the morning pages and the tasks: I am not a failure because my marriage “failed.” I am developing an undertanding of who I am, have always been, and that person is valuable and lovable.

Seems like heavy stuff from a bunch of scribbling in an old notebook, but I think the power is in actually sitting down and taking the time, an hour at the most, every day, to really let the person inside come to the top, come onto the pages.

I’m going to continue with the next 10 weeks. It may seem tedious at times, maybe even a waste of time some days, but I owe this to myself. I owe it to that little girl buried deep inside.

– Isobel