Reigniting a Sense of Honesty.

If I’m going to be completely honest here, I have to admit to two things. 

Firstly, Chapter Five is going to take me three weeks to complete.  Week One I ended up in a bit of a funk.  Week Two, I am currently on vacation with my daughter and her two young children.  There is a reason we’re supposed to have our kids when we’re young! I love my grandchildren deeply, and am creating some amazing memories, but come the evening, I-am-exhausted! There’s no time for Morning Pages or any of the tasks for this week, so I’m just going to cut myself some slack and will get back to working on Chapter Five once I get home.

Secondly, as I said above, I ended up in quite a funk last week, creating quite a pity-party around myself.  And then… and then I started to remember the flip side of the hurt and anger of being left to finish my degree and hold down a part-time job as an army reservist while bringing up my son alone. The flip side was – I did it.  And I did it well.  I ended up in the top three of my class. I acquired a lot of new skills, met some fascinating people, attempted many new challenges in the army, and made some life-long friends… but most importantly, my son was happy and healthy.

Again, if I’m honest,  I didn’t do it quite alone.  I had help from three amazing women – my mum who looked after my son when I had to go away on training sessions, my son’s childminder who looked after him when I was at university, and the company of a great flat mate.  But ultimately it was me who put in the work and got it done.

So there might have been times when I wept with anger and pain at my husband abandoning me… but I was strong and worked hard. And if I was strong in following my dream then, I can – and will – be strong in following my dream now.

… to be continued…