Some days just smack you in the face with a hard dose of reality.

First off, I love my body.  I love the fact it’s got me to this age and carried two straightforward pregnancies which resulted in two healthy children.  But what I don’t love is the fact I haven’t treated it the way I should have.

Long story short, I’m on holiday with a couple of girlfriends and realised I don’t have the right clothes for where we’re going next.  We went into a clothes shop and I saw a couple of tops I liked and tried them on.  I chose the size I ‘thought/hoped’ I was…but I wasn’t.  I had to go up a size, and although I didn’t have to reveal my weight to them, they now know which (embarrassing) size I am.

I have to stop kidding myself.  I really do.  In the couple of years after my divorce, I lost over thirty pounds through eating right and walking.  Lots and lots of walking.  I felt and looked great. Then I hurt my back and got lazy.  The pounds started to creep on.  Then I got happy.  The pounds kept creeping up. Then I got cancer.  I promised myself I would look after myself better but, despite joining a gym, the pounds continued creeping up. Then I got happy again.  And all that time, even though I knew I was doing everything ‘wrong’, I took my health and fitness for granted.

I’ll be seventy-one shortly and I’m starting to get… anxious.  My mum was 85 when she died, and I am less fit and flexible now than she was then.  I’m currently on holiday and still able to mostly do what I want to do, but climbing up the steep road out of the village or the path up to the waterfall has me puffing and taking more than a few rests on the way.

On top of that, just before I left, I decided to pull my bike out of the garage.  There’s a fabulous (flat) bike path near where I live.  And there’s that common phrase, isn’t there – It’s like riding a bike – which suggests you never forget something? Well… that’s a lie.  I really struggled with my balance, and the uncomfortable seat triggered the arthritis in my hip. I was completely humiliated and I can’t begin to tell you how old I suddenly felt.

I don’t want to be skinny.  (Well, secretly we all do, but now I’ve learned what it can do to your bones… no thank you.). I want to be as healthy as I can be and live as independently as I can for as long as I can.  So…  I’m going to go back and try and do what I did in the first couple of years after my divorce and use the tricks I did then and see if that helps.

1. Walk 10,000 steps a day – mandatory.
2. Try and eat clean, with food mostly cooked from scratch.
3. Mid-morning or afternoon treats have to be a latte or veggies and dip. (Hummus for the protein.)
4. I will not keep chocolate/biscuits/cookies in the house.  If I want chocolate, then I have to go out to the shops and buy it.  And I can only buy one small chocolate bar at a time.
5. Practice getting up and down – unaided – from the floor every day.
6. Stand on one leg when I’m brushing my teeth.
7. Practice kneeling down and sitting on my heels – will take a while to achieve that.

Will those actions make a difference?  More importantly, will I have the willpower to carry through with the plan?  I should/must if I’m going to be healthy.  But…going back to an earlier post where a friend told me to  replace ‘should’ with ‘I want to,’ or, ‘I don’t want to,’ which will win out?  I want to be healthy or I don’t want to have to look after my health?

And then… when do I start?  On my trip or when I get home?  See, there I go again – procrastination.  I’m tempted to wait until I get home.

And why is ‘tomorrow’ always the easiest start date?