It’s been a long hard journey to get to where I am now. The first two years after my ex left me were sheer hell. Since then, with the support of friends and family, and a lot of hard work on my part, my life has become one that is richer and fuller than I could have imagined even three years ago. My heart and my mind are finally at peace. What more could I possibly want?
I don’t need a man in my life – I have proved that – but do I want one? I certainly don’t want to get married again, because I will never – ever – go through another divorce.
Whereas some new divorcees get straight back out into the dating scene almost immediately – and I applaud them for that – it wasn’t for me. I was so broken and defeated after my divorce, that I had to spend almost 5 years putting myself back together, and becoming happy in myself before I could even allow the thought of a man to enter my head.
But when that thought crept in… what was I going to do about it?’
Nothing, for a few months, and then…
If I was going to dip my toe into the dating waters, I decided that, first of all, I had to be really clear in my head what I did – and didn’t – want in a man. He had to value family, honesty and be kind and respectful. That was it. The only deal breaker…? He couldn’t be at the totally opposite end of the political spectrum from myself.
Where would I start finding such a man? I’d read all kinds of horror stories about online dating, so I decided to fork out some money and go through an old-fashioned matchmaker with over 40 years experience – and who also happened to have introduced a good friend of mine to her husband 30 years ago.
We met face to face and went through a whole list of questions. Did I play golf? No. Tennis? No. Ski? No. Hike? No. Did I like camping? No.
It wasn’t looking good.
Although I lead a really busy interesting life, it’s not a sporty one, and men – even older men – like sporty women. (Sporty, I believe, being code for skinny. And I haven’t been skinny for 25 years.)
It might be a while before she found someone for me, she advised. That was fine by me. I was in no rush and not even sure this was what I wanted.
She called back next day. There was one man on her books who might fit what I was looking for. Was I interested in her contacting him to see if he was similarly interested? I was a bit taken aback that this was happening so fast, but I said yes.
She gave me his first name and told me what he did for a living. In this day of social media, it wasn’t hard to find his online presence. I scrolled down his posts. He was the one thing I didn’t want – someone who occupied the opposite end of the political spectrum to myself.
What was I going to do if – or when – he called?
(To be continued.)
Tell him you’re not skinny. LOL. That might do it. If suddenly it does, then you know an important thing you need to know. I’m joking a little bit, but serious as well.
Then perhaps you might ask if he’d be interested in a coffee buddy who doesn’t discuss politics. Again, that will tell you something as well.
Like you, I’m a gray divorcee. Granted, everyone’s different, but the thought of discussing or having to endure hearing about politics (from either side of the aisle) would be a definite deal breaker for me.
Sounds interesting though. If nothing else, it’ll give you inspiration for your blog. You’ll have to keep us posted! Good luck … Pulling for you!
Hi Blog lady 77. Thank you for following my blog and your comment. The guy and I have met so he knows I’m not skinny, and he seems to be okay with that. But I don’t want to give away too much of the story here. Will reveal more in my next post tomorrow. :o) Thanks again. Vhairi
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Will be reading.