It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again – Week 3 – Vhairi

This week’s focus was on Reigniting a Sense of Connection.

Normally, when I write my weekly review, I simply follow the list of questions at the end of each chapter of Julia’s book, It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again. This week, because of two particular elements of synchronicity I experienced, I’m going to change my approach.

The first element of synchronicity was when the above quote landed randomly in my Inbox.  If I’m honest, last weekend was hard with all the introspection.  So hard, that I shut myself off for a couple of days and ended up putting a dime in my ‘Bad Day’ jar.  (But there are only 7 dimes so far for this year, so that’s okay.)  I even started wondering if maybe it wasn’t a good idea to be looking so deep into my life and how I got to this point.  Maybe I should chuck the whole experiment if it was going to make me feel so sad.

And then, as I said, the above quote landed in my Inbox and since then, things have eased.  I don’t want my life to be directed by fate.  Where possible – and I do realise that sometimes external events don’t allow that –  I want to chart my own course.  So it’s been interesting looking back, seeing where some of my beliefs came from and how they impacted my life and decisions.

In the argument between nurture and nature, I believe in a 50/50 split.  We are our genetics.  Just as we may be born with blue eyes rather than brown, so some of us are born with certain personality traits due to our brain structure and chemistry. Depending on the family, culture and time we are born into, what nurtures us can assist our potential to blossom… or wither.

So we need to look at our past selves, our decisions and our behaviour honestly, but we must also be kind to ourselves. And now, with a clearer eye, we can look and move forward.

The other element of synchronicity… no matter when I’ve had to park in this city this week, I’ve found a parking spot right outside the front door of where I’ve had to be.  Hotel, Costco, hospital, shopping mall – you name it, I have been in the first stall right outside. Which got me thinking about my mum. (Who has figured highly in my memoir pages this week.) No matter where we went, my mum always found a parking spot right outside where she needed to be.  She used to joke it was her ‘parking fairy’ helping her, but I think it was a combination of her determination not to have to walk too far, her positive attitude and her patience to wait until a spot came free.

I was lucky in my Mum – and my Dad.  They might have had old-fashioned beliefs of their generation, but they were loving and gave me and my siblings a firm base.

Sometimes it’s hard not to feel anger and pain when I remember my husband telling me he ‘fell out of love with me and in love with her‘.   But it’s also important to look at the connections that loved and supported me long before I ever met my ex – and still do – as well as those new connections made in the years since he left me.

Yes, some of your weakness might be in your past, but so is your strength.  Look back into that past – and your new present –  find that strength, and draw on it now.

If you are working your way through Julia’s book It’s Never Too Late To Begin Again, we would love to hear your insights.

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