It’s been 13 years since my ex announced (by email) that he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I was 60 years old at the time and I was completely floored.
A few years later, with my dear friend Vhairi, we decided to write about our experiences struggling through the pain and betrayal of divorce, totally unprepared for the aftermath, and wanting to share what we were learning along the way.
My last post was seven years ago. Life got busy as I began to emerge out of the darkness. I started my own freelance writing business, new grandchild, new dog, a couple of trips across Canada, and then Covid changed the world…but the real reason why I stopped posting is because I thought I had said all there was to say about getting through those early years. I had nothing left to offer.
Wrong.
Maybe the outwardly big things were settled. I had my own name back, had my routine, cleared the house of furniture, reminders of him, and made it MY home. It was MY life, and yet here I am again, back on the page, realizing that the struggles actually never stopped, that I am still feeling my way through life on my own. I have three adult children, six grandchildren (how fortunate am I!) and we are still juggling our relationships around the past, the now, and the future with the ex as the big ink blot in the middle. So many decisions to be made by myself, friendships that came and others that dissolved. It was naïve of me to think I was free and clear of it all. Or ever will be.
I’ve learned a lot and unlearned more, and I hope to write about some of this here on this blog. If anything helps any of you out there, even just knowing you are not alone, that will be good.
But true confession: it’s to help myself as well. I need to understand who I am and how I want to play out the years I have left. The stain of divorce will never be erased. I want to find a way to turn that stain into a joyful work of art, part of my story.
Please always feel free to comment, ask questions. We are on this journey together, and together we are strong.
Isobel